I am back again with another traffic light story. God speaks to me when I am driving, when I am the most un-Godly version of myself. Our God has a sense of humor, FYI. If you haven’t read my other post where I talk about my love/hate relationship with patience and red lights, read it here.

Last Saturday, I was driving to a photoshoot at the beach. It was early, I was tired, feeling uncreative, and somewhat dreading the small talk I was about to partake in. It’s SO cool that I get to meet new people each and every week and be a shining light for Jesus. At least it’s cool until I haven’t had my coffee or am not in my shining light of Jesus mood.

Besides the early morning and lack of motivation, I was ignoring God. I was ignoring the gut feeling that God has given me (and you). I was ignoring facts, ignoring myself, and ignoring sound counsel from friends. I was ignoring God’s word and I was ignoring the shallow emptiness that was slowly beginning to creep back into my life. The familiar tendency to search, to please, and to gain satisfaction from life instead of God. From people, instead of God.

I was driving along, actually, the same place I was driving in my previous post, just the opposite direction, and suddenly, out of nowhere, the light turned yellow. I was annoyed and verbally said, “What the heck, there is NO ONE HERE” as I slammed on my brakes. I probably slammed my steering wheel too, dramatic. (I wonder how Jesus would have spoken as he drove????) There was no one on the road. Not a soul. And yet still the light turned from green to yellow to a halting red. At that exact moment, I recognized my annoyance and remembered Jesus. I remembered the patience that he had been teaching me (until I decided to ignore him) and thought okay God, I get it. I hear you. You’re trying to tell me something. And immediately, I kid you not, immediately, the light turned green. I was stunned because lights normally last like 5 whole minutes and I was suddenly no longer forced to be stopped and sit in my guilt, but I was allowed to go. I thought I was going to have to sit in patience, in self-control and learn some long lesson, but the light turned. Maybe that’s what growing in our relationship with Christ looks like. Understanding his character and needing less long life lessons and more quick snaps to turn your attention back on his face?? Idk, I’m still learning.

I was driving along, depending on myself (and coffee) and God L I T E R A L L Y stopped me in my tracks to say, “Ummm hey, hi. Remember me? I’m God. I have your best interest in mind and I have something really neat coming soon for you. Quit what you’re doing right now that you know isn’t from me. Cool, now that we’ve got that cleared up, continue on.” I was ignoring him, I wasn’t listening, and he got my attention. God doesn’t always work like this, and sometimes we pretend not to see it, but I couldn’t ignore this.

If you were to ask me why I believe in Jesus, I could now recite to you historical facts of why I believe the Bible is true and why I think Jesus is the son of God and real and good. I could answer (some) of your questions on creation and I could point you to some useful books that helped build my foundation for the evidence of Christianity. But apart from all of those reasons, when I think about my life, when I am REALLY honest with myself, I think about the times that I have felt most complete. The times that I have had zero doubts that I am moving in the right direction and the times where I can look back and say that I saw God work divinely in my life… the times when I didn’t feel that gnawing in my stomach that something was off. When I wasn’t counting on anticipation and excitement to get me through the day, to distract me from what I knew was the truth. When I trusted that I was living my life in the way that I KNEW God wanted me too, to give me good, good things. All of these times have been when my face has been turned towards him.

These are the reasons that I am chasing after God. These are the reasons that I am running the race. These are the reasons that I wake up each morning to read my Bible and sit in stillness with my Creator who cares about me and knows me better than I know myself. God has revealed himself to me. God has met me. God has shown UP for me, even when at the time I didn’t like it and I didn’t want it.

I have tried it all. I’ve done it all. I’ve sought contentment from everything. Boys, going out with the wrong intentions, clothes, trips, money, experiences. I have tried with all my might to lean on my own understanding. It isn’t enough, it will never be enough. And every time I come back to the one who is gracious and loving and patient. I feel different when my eyes are set on him and not myself. I don’t know any other way to explain it.

If you are like me, ignoring God or not sure if he is there, hi, welcome to the club. And maybe, right now, wherever you are, this post can serve as your red light. God is chasing after you. God wants you to experience the kind of life that is only available through him. The life that I spent a lot of my life running away from.

If you have laid eyes on this post, it’s probably because you’re my friend or the title drew you in from my Instagram page, but that’s not what I want you to leave with. I want you to leave this page, if you made it this far, with a little bit of light and hope that nowhere you are running is too far for God’s reach. Nowhere you are hiding is out of God’s sight. No matter how hard you ignore him, he hasn’t left. No mistake is too great to be forgiven. No doubt is too deep for the reality of God to infiltrate. There’s no wrong turn you could make that leaves God behind.

I urge you this week, to give God a shot. Try it out. Open up that book (Maybe start with John or Proverbs!) and see what he wants to say to you. Chat with Him. Share your deepest desires with him. And this week, when you feel that knot, that conviction, that emptiness, don’t cover it up. Don’t make excuses. Ask God what he wants to teach you.

In the meantime, I will just be driving along, trying not to yell at strangers and trying my very best to see God’s presence all around me. Maybe next time it won’t take a halt for God to get my attention, or maybe it will. Either way, I am excited about the green lights ahead.

xoxo,
Madison

PS. I started writing this blog post with no title, no main point, just a story about a red light. I asked God to show me what he wanted me to learn but also speak personally through me to each person who reads this. This post is for you.

A little bit of food for thought:
When you wake up in the morning, are you up happy? (Recently asked one of my good friends this question and it stirred up a lot of good convos.)

When you think about your significant other and your walk with God, is He first? Is He at the center? Be HONEST with yourself.

When you think about God, do you feel anger? Resentment? Fear? Doubt? Here’s a tip, hash it out. Yell. Barter (it probably won’t work but hey, give it a try). Converse. Cry. He’s there, He’s listening, and He wants to show himself to you.

When you think about your weekend, is it joy that overcomes you, or guilt? Or sadness? Or striving? Or contentment?

Is there someone in your life that brings light? Thank them!

Is there someone in your life who holds a weight that they really shouldn’t? Take action.